Wednesday 1 June 2011

Fwd: Why run?



Why run?
I've lost count of the number of people who have asked me this or the number of times I've asked it of myself. The truth is I have no idea.
It all started one day when my brother asked me to go for a run, as he was training for a charity event and wanted some company.
My first thoughts were, in no particular order;
Why the hell is my brother running if he's not being chased?
Why the sudden fascination with running when his car seems to be working?
If he's doing it could I?
After a few tentative runs of slowly increasing distance I discovered lots of benefits to running. I was losing weight, I was looking better and feeling well. I discovered whole parts of the local area I never knew existed and a whole community of runners across the world, more than willing to share tips and secrets. More over I found a sport which was open to all, wasn't expensive and didn't have pre-conceived ideas of what a typical runner should be.
All of these benefits were apparent but none of them ever answered the question "Why Running?"
Why not another sport, why not join a gym or take up football?
The question rings loud in my ears with every footfall of a long run and it's met with nothing but the echo of my footsteps in response.
I've struggled with weight and personal image for as long as I can remember. And it's strange because looking at photographs of my past I was never as big as I thought. I guess (or I hope) that everyone has those voices in the back of their mind telling them what they can not achieve, or how useless/stupid/fat/ugly they are. The problem is I'd listened to them so long I could only identify myself by their descriptions and despite the good stuff going on in my life, I still felt like the loser they described.
In running I found a sport which allowed me to test my own self perceptions and my own limitations. I wasn't being compared to team mates or peers, it was just me and the road. And I could push myself as hard as I wanted. Over time a strange thing happened.
I got better.
I began pushing myself to the limit in order to find what I was capable of and the response wasn't a voice telling me that I don't look like a runner, or another telling me I'm too fat to run and chasing me down.
The response was my footfall on the pavement, the rhythmic beat that showed I wasn't slowing. I was moving forward. Literally taking a step and doing something positive.
It was me doing something more than most.
While others sat in and vegetated I was on the road or in the gym and I was running and accomplishing something.
So where am I now?
I'm 20+lbs lighter than I was six months ago and feel ten years younger I'm faster than I've ever been and have taken part in some amazing events and met some great people through running. I have a more positive self image. The voices are still there but now when I run, it's not to get away from them, it's to shut them up and show them what I can do.
And on the long runs, either by street light or in the sun, the beat still goes on. I keep moving one foot in front of the other and I keep running.
Why run?
I've no idea, but the answer is just over the horizon and if I keep running faster I might just catch it.

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